Oh, for the love... Understanding that this is most likely a drag queen, it is still nasty. Do people really think that others enjoy this? I mean- seeing this really is as painful as, say, someone kicking you in the shins. And so- Sir or Madam (whatever the case may be):

Let me introduce you to my little friend. The razor. And please learn from Al and Lindsey- shirts are g-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-d. This just makes you look as though you've escaped from the funny farm where you weren't allowed to have any sharp objects.

No shirt, no shoes, no service Part 2

No post about shirtless people would be complete without mentioning my neighbor. To protect the ridiculous, we will call him Avalanche Al, the Hairless Wonder. Without fail, Al is out in his soccer shorts, completely shirtless, by March 15 th every year. It would be one thing if the man were to stay in his house. But he struts around outside like a male peacock during mating season. And with looks resembling Jeff Foxworthy, it is a sight to behold. I'm not saying he needs to wear a 3 piece suit, but a t-shirt would be nice. Look at Nick and Mario, Al. Shirts are g-o-o-o-o-o-o-d.

No shirt, no shoes, no service!

A Payne once asked which I liked better- Lindsay or Hilary. Sadly, musically- neither. However, as far as clothes go, I would choose Hilary, hands down. I mean, what the...??? Did Lindsay really look in the mirror before she left home? Or was she mugged by a masked gunman who stole her undershirt on her way to her limo? We can only hope this was not a choice made while she was sober. And so, for Lindsay: I have included a picture of a properly buttoned shirt, and picture of fellow Mouseketeer Hilary, who has indeed not let the undershirt escape her.

p.s. A big thank you to Hilary for being a better role model for the girlies.

Send in the Clowns!

So today my sister and I were shopping for some suits to wear to a dinner this weekend. Anyway, as we rounded the corner near the MAC counter at Nordstrom, I caught, out of the corner of my eye, what appared to be a bettered woman. Of course I did a double take, and to my surprise I saw that not only was this an intentional make up job, but was touted proudly by every consultant at the MAC counter. See middle photo.

Now seriously. My first thought, after "Whew- she's not a battered wife!", was "What!?! Is it Mardi Gras already!?!" That kind of make up is something only our beloved Mimi would enjoy. Yes, the makeup caught my attention- (Yay) but not not in a really positive way (Boo.) Why would anyone want to look like they had just gotten a right hook to the orbital bone? Now take a look at the former Miss Sweden. Pretty. And it doesn't look like she's been a samba dancer in the French Quarter.

2006 vma awards

The vma awards have come and gone. Thank goodness. It's not that I don't enjoy music- I have been a fan of Shakira's music since I was in South America and heard it coming from the shops as we went down the street. But awards shows have become nothing more than a contest to see who can get away with the most outlandish outfits. Thanks to Lil' Kim- we are now seeing strategically placed stickers in place of a shirt. What are they thinking!?! If I saw someone on the street who had put on stickers instead of a shirt, I'd have thought they were a mental patient. Now, I wasn't born yesterday- I expect to see more casual attire at an MTV show. But I didn't see one female dressed in anything I wouldn't expect on a call girl. They were advertising, and I don't mean music. And so the award goes to:

Justin Timberlake. Nice suit. No booty.

Thank you Justin for sparing us! Now about your lyrics...

To Grill or Not to Grill

I have to bring this up. At what point do you say to yourself, "Hmmmm... I think I'd really like to have my teeth encrusted with diamonds..." Grills are proof that money won't buy class. Reminds me of that villain "Jaws" in the James Bond movie, or one of those malnourished children you see on TV who had no choice in order to save their teeth. I'll take pearly whites for $300, Alex...

Top: The outfit is so cute that you see how pretty Jessica is.

Bottom: Ewww. And more Ewww. It's not sexy. It is trampalicious. And don't even get me started on whether this girl has on her Fruit of the Looms. This is not showing off. It is advertising. Ewww.

Top: Yay for Reese. Proof that you can be casual without looking like you wore your baby sister's t-shirt.

Bottom: Booooo! Coin slots are so icky. She must be a plumber....

Modesty is not a fad. And I just gotta say that too many people have become too liberal with their choice of dress. Icky. So in an attmpt to help those fashionally-challenged, I'd like to bring to light a few do's and don'ts. Being modest doesn't mean dorky unless, of course, you want it to!